A New Strap

Lady C wanted a new strap for her Xmas (2021). So I got her this one: http://www.quality-control.co.uk/products/straps/priestbelts/s63blackpriestbelt3layersleadweighted.html

The shop owner called to ask if we were sure as it is the heaviest standard item they have. I said we’re sure and a couple of days later it arrived.

It doesn’t look much, but its 600 x 50 x 15 (mm) thick and has lead shot in it for a unique sting and thud sensation. Its the heaviest standard item this supplier does and I got a phone call from them to confirm that we indeed wanted such an evil strap.

Lady C was desperate to try it out, so on Xmas eve, she got me to bare my ass and gave me three swift strokes. Arrrrrrrrrggggggggh I cried, standing upright after each stroke as Lady C casually mentioned “that’s really marking your ass, hon, and that’s with no effort from me”. Was I worried? I should be.

First outing proper with it was last weekend. Lady C had been promising a spanking all weekend, and when she got in on Sunday, that exactly what she did. She gave me about 25 strokes with our FLR paddle, and then finished with two using this strap. Wow, did I know the difference. Secretly I was craving more later, but shhh, don’t let her know.

Here it is next to some of our other implements, just to give an idea of the size.

I’ve already shown this to some of my spanko friends out there in the Internet and there’s a big interest from them about it, especially after hearing about it in use. So show your wives, husbands, partners, whoever and tell em you want a piece of that across your ass.

A.

Things Are Getting Better

Once again I’ve left it a long time between posts. Life is just so busy, and when you don’t feel well its even harder to handle. But earlier this year I managed to discover I have a couple of food intolerances. One of them I know what it is and can avoid, the other…. well we have a short list and between them all its quite difficult to avoid them.

What does this mean for you kinksters? Basically I’m feeling better every day and things like the intense fatigue, sleepless nights and brain fog are going. And this means that I have more time for writing about the kink in our lives, which has started again.

So has there been any spankings? Of course there has. Last Wed Lady C decided that my ass needed strapping so told me to have a selection of implements for her to choose from and my bare ass ready for her.

When she got home she chose the nasty solid leather strap and gave a good 12 strokes or more. Thinking she was finished I started to get up only to feel her hand push on the small of my back to keep me in position. She then chose the nasty three tailed heavy tawse and gave another 12 with that before giving another 12 with the two tailed medium tawse.

“You had enough yet?”, she asked. I took slightly too long to reply so she took that to mean that I wanted more and she thought I needed more. So back to Auntie strap for another 12 strokes. “That’s better, nice and toasty”.

And that was that. Another spanking for promised for the weekend, which for us here in the UK has about 12 hours to run.

Got a few things to write about including how she broke her beloved Mistress Strap.

A Quick Update

Lots have changed since I first started this blog and now life has settled down into something that we’re both comfortable with. That doesn’t mean that we are not doing any kink, FLR, or DD. We are, it just happens. But what it means is that a lot of the processes, rules, tools that are described on these pages, just don’t happen any more. They’ve all been replaced with a simple set of rules:

Rule 1

Lady C makes the rules.

Rule 2

If in doubt, rule 1 applies.

Of course, any breaches of the rules usually mean I end up with my bare ass in the air with a stingy strap swinging away at it.

We kinda didn’t like a lot of the fiddly work that was involved in keeping the frameworks of schedules, rules all up to date. Most of all, means that Lady C doesn’t get pissed off with me as she always found that to be a bit “topping from the bottom”.

The other thing that’s changed significantly is that I’m locked in chastity a LOT more. It used to be for a couple of days, possible a week, maybe two. Now its way longer, like three months, only getting out once or twice for 10 minutes max for showering or for Lady C to have a play.

That started about last May. I woke up one morning and felt decidedly better, both physically and mentally. The last three years had me suffering with some really nasty medical conditions. So in May we spoke about it and what my expectations are and we took it from there.

The Three Ss of Submission

I stumbled across an article on submission here https://thedrsuereview.com/the-3-ss-of-submission/ I suggest you read the original article because I’m not going to copy it here verbatim.

Instead I’m going to discuss how it works for me/us in a Female Led Relationship. Dr Sue’s discussions were more of the online or professional Domme/sub and did no way reflect what we do as a couple in a relationship.

First of all let’s review the Three Ss:

Servitude

Dr Sue wants submissives to ask ourselves if what we’re doing/proposing/asking, serving our dominant partner in some shape of form. There’s a few examples and I’ve got a few too.

When I started to look at this, I thought I had this one pinned. I make meals for Lady C, I fill and empty the dishwasher, I do gardening, I go to the shops and buy us food, and many other things. Surely that’s servitude?

And then I thought it through and realised it’s no different than the guy next door who probably does the same things for his wife. Most of these that I’ve mentioned have one thing in common – they benefit us both.

How about picking up Lady C from work. That’s closer as she doesn’t need to wait at a bus stop in the city for a non-existent bus in the rain and experience all the joys of public transport. She would get home quicker, we would get to see each other sooner and start moaning about how bad our jobs were. But there’s still that benefit to both of us.

Eventually I came to the conclusion that its very difficult to go out of your way in a 24×7 relationship for these kind of things. The closest I could get was serving Lady C a glass of wine as she walks across the threshold and perhaps helping her trim her bikini line. Now that last one she does appreciate as its not the easiest area to access yourself (men and women alike). However its a very intimate thing to be permitted to do and requires a gentle and steady hand. Now that she does appreciate.

So I think I can claim Servitude, but nowhere near as much as I thought I would be able to. What would make a big difference is when Lady C commands, not asks, me to do something for her. That way I know I’m serving her.

Sacrifice

Dr Sue, on Sacrifice poses this question: “Is what I’m doing/proposing/asking, sacrificing for my Queen/King?” And again, there are some reasonable arguments on what forms sacrifice could take, and no none involved a virgin in some flimsy white outfit on an altar table.

I think some of the biggest sacrifices I make are to spend more time with Lady C. I rarely go the pub on my own to meet my friends, if we go, then its both of us. If I’m cooking, and I cook a lot, I usually like to have a beer as I’m preparing dinner – unless its early in the day. Usually its after work and waiting for Lady C to get home. So again I’m trying not to have a drink until she’s home and can join me.

Maybe not the greatest of sacrifices, but its something. How about chastity? Dr Sue thinks its the S we haven’t discussed yet, my thoughts are its more of a sacrifice.

The dictionary definition of chastity is generally about giving up sex. The definition of sacrifice is “the act of giving up something that you want to keep especially in order to get or do something else or to help someone“. Anyone that has ever experiences a chastity cage for even a short length of time will tell you that it makes the wearer feel submissive, be more affectionate towards the person who has the key and give them lots of orgasms and generally be nice.

So I would say that chastity is a sacrifice a submissive man can make to his Domme. Giving up your orgasms to focus on the significant woman in your life? Its a no brainer.

Suffering

Again Dr Sue starts by asking a question: “Am I suffering for my Queen/King?“. In a loving relationship, albeit FemDom, its difficult for the dominant person to make the submissive suffer too much. When the dominant is a sadist, as Dr Sue suggests, its very easy to make the submissive suffer.

She suggests Chastity is suffering, but I would tend to disagree. As I reasoned above, chastity is more sacrifice than suffering. I wear a chastity cage and I barely notice it is there, let alone suffer with any pain. I have to sit to pee, but that’s not exactly torture. There is some mental pain but that’s usually the direct result of Lady C teasing me and that’s when it’s getting to the suffering stage.

Spanking, now that’s more like it. I bare my backside, she uses stiff pieces of leather or wood to make it hurt. That’s real suffering. If its punishment, then its obviously deserved and I chose the path of physical punishment over a week of arguments and non speaking. One sore ass later and all the misdemeanors have been cleansed from my conscious.

So that’s punishments, how about these maintenance spankings? The ones delivered not for any other reason other than to remind me that punishment is never far away. And what about these spanking that are just at the whim of Lady C? No reason apart from she wants to, or she need practice, or its been a while. All of these I would say are definitely suffering for my Domme.

There’s another set of things and they are going to be pretty much like the Servitude argument. Things like queuing for ages in the rain in order to get the last thing of its kind from the shop. Yes, there are suffering but no different to a normal vanilla, non kink, non FLR couple. And if you’re in any relationship why wouldn’t you do it?

Conclusions

I would say I made three out of three in the categories. Some more than others, and if you discount all the vanilla things it really doesn’t leave a lot to make it me submissive just chastity, spanking and bikini lines.

Enjoy your weekend folks

A

RESPECT

For the last week Lady C has been using the phrase “That’s disrespectful” . It’s been used for lots of things from walking in front of her, darling the wrong thing, in general most things. On Wednesday we spoke about it and what should happen should these words be spoken.

She really wishes sometimes she was brave enough to put me over her knee and spank me in public, but I can’t ever see that happening. In private it will happen, in company I shall make a note and it’ll get dealt with later.

So last night Lady C was at the theatre. I took advantage of this to watch an old cult movie – Blues Brothers 2000. We had just got to the point when Aretha Franklyn was about tell the guys of the band her thoughts and my phone rang. Yes, Lady C called just at the opening bars of Respect.

It’s now my custom ringtone for Her.

F.L.R. Paddling

Last night after returning from the pub and still caged Mistress decided it was time to try out Her F.L.R. Paddle.

Ouch that hurt and there’s still very visible signs on my ass this morning. The side effect of Lady C paddling my ass was to make Her very horny. So She gets pleasured, I get paddled – its not fair is it?

A

New Regime, New Position

One thing that’s came out since we rekindled our FLR/FLM is that Lady C is bit stricter and doing things Her way.   However that hasn’t stopped Her from seeing a good idea and adopting it. In particular She was reading a series of FLR short stories.   Most of these seemingly were total fantasy, but She did mention that a lot of the paddles had holes in them and that the men always appeared to be more afraid of them.

“Why do they have holes in them?”, she casually asked as we were going to bed.   “Well the holes allow the air to pass through and not build an air cushion below the blade allowing faster speed at impact”, was my response.

“I want to see what it’s like with holes”, She said. “Now bend over and grab your ankles.   This seemed to be a popular position in these stories”.   So, I bent over and did as She commanded as She started to paddle my ass.   Bent over grabbing ankles is a position that we have barely ever used, but She seemed to like it and even complemented me on the fact that I can actually get into that position.

Next morning as I was leaving for work, I said “You can have holes on two conditions: one – you choose a name for the paddle and two – you get a hole every time its used”.   Ok, possibly a bit brave of me to tell Lady C how I’m going to do things, but nonetheless She let it pass.

I suggested a few names for the paddle, but the one She chose was F.L.R. – For Loving Reminders. To be used to remind us both that every use is to be done for the betterment of our relationship, never in anger, always with love.

Yesterday I finished work early and was able to do a bit of modification to the paddle.  I drilled a hole, then thought I would drill some more.  We now have a paddle with 5 holes, one hole for each year of marriage.   When I showed Her the finished paddle She was very pleased with it and promised that She would be using it soon.  So far, its not been used, but I’m not hopeful.   Its not the best piece of wood and I’ve promised Her that I’ll make Her a new one made from a nice piece of wood such as beech, oak or maple.  One that’ll have a nicer shape, one made with all my skill and love and engraved with F.L.R.

So if anyone knows where I can get a nice piece of wood, please let me know

FLR / DD Relaunched

We’ve relaunched our FLR / FLM / DD lifestyle. We’ve been getting lax and falling into bad habits – OK possibly because last year I was not well and incapable of doing a lot of things as well as really not wanting any sex or kink.

So Monday I suggested to Lady C that we should look at a relaunch I was quite surprised when She replied with a blunt “Yes, we’ll discuss that tonight”. We visited the pub and after dinner She brought the subject up.

“So you want to relaunch the FLR? Well its going to be me making all the decisions, telling you what to do, making you eat healthier, drink less, going where I want to go, doing chores around the house, and giving me sex whenever I want? Is that what you want – no choice, no argument?”. “You do realise that you’ll get your ass strapped a lot more, and unless you want your cock permanently caged, you’ll need to do as I say, quickly and with good grace”. We’ll still make the big decisions together, of course, but She will have the final say.

This is bit different, she means business this time. “So, starting now you WILL do as I wish and keep me happy”. With that she took me up to the bedroom and sealed the deal with the nasty wooden paddle. “I like this paddle”, she says, “You made it specially for me to punish you with and I can see that you don’t like it”. With the paddle, She started spanking whilst lecturing me on her rules and our FLR/FLM arrangement. “You, will do as I say , otherwise this is what will happen. Understood?

So another chapter begins, with a stricter regime than last. So far She is living up to Her promises and we’re starting to get a bit more organised and putting the house and our lifes in order, with the paddle and straps keeping me focused.

Time will tell how things will turn out, but for now I’m enjoying it.

Do I Need a Reason?

Today is going to be a day full of spankings. On our whiteboard there is the following:

• Pick 6 Implements
• Find a reason to use them
• Use them
• Repeat

For reasons the following categories are suggested:

• Discipline
• Lady C’s fun
• A’s fun
• Proxy
• Maintenance
• Thought association
• Encouragement
• No reason
• Whim
• Regular
• Rule breaches
• Dominance

Most of these are straightforward, thought association is hearing, seeing, thinking, reading of something that can be taken out of context and put into a spanking one. Example that Lady C actually said this morning: “that cupboard is a pain in the bum”. Other examples are seeing the colour red, use of the words heat, warmth, sting, and pulling on a (bra) strap.

Proxy is simple – if there is a reason that Lady C needs spanked then she transfers that to her nominated proxy – i.e. me.

Regular? Well she may decide that she wants to administer a spanking every 10 minutes during 1900-2000 when we will be making dinner.

Dominance – well that re-asserts Lady C as the Head of the Household in our FLR

Anybody got any other reasons?

A

Welcome Home

Been working away again.  When it was getting time to book my return travel Mistress told me that I was going to get a spanking as soon as I get home.

For the next couple of days that’s all she spoke about.  “You’re getting a spanking whether you like it or not”.    “You’ll be naked over my knee”,  “You know you want it”, “Because I can, and I will”.

So when I did get, she allowed me to shower and then it was straight over her knee for a hand spanking.   She was naked except for a pair of “fuck me” shoes and whilst spanking lectured me that this was remind me that She is the boss of our relationship.

The spanking wasn’t too long, just hard enough to bring a glow to my cheeks and to re-establish Lady C as head of the house.

A