The first two parts have been consolidated here and are probably most of what any beginners to DD need to know. In this part I’m going to finish up by discussing Boot Camps and some other bits and pieces that don’t really fit in anywhere else.
We don’t do these correctly, however who’s to say any other way is wrong either. The purpose of Boot Camps is to have, usually, a weekend set aside when you do nothing except talk, act and sleep Domestic Discipline. It is an opportunity to establish the HOH and take each other out of their own comfort zones. By this I mean you will get a punishment that is very hard by your own standards or in the case of HOH have to administer it. Trust me its harder than it sounds from both sides.
When we do boot camps we tend to have a week when maintenance is performed daily and every task or rule is taken to extremes and punishments dished out accordingly. For us the idea is to get us back into the way of the DD routine and making sure things gets done.
However you choose to do it is entirely up to you, but do take the time to plan it out in advance and if spending an entire weekend, make sure that you don’t need to stop to go out and goto the shops or have any other things that get in the way. For us, our weekends are precious to us and we don’t want to give them up by staying in the house all weekend.
Other Hints and Tips
Whatever you make your DD arrangement is entirely up to yourselves. I’ve given some ideas from what we do and have found to work for us. Its up to you to find what works for you.
Getting the rules recorded is definately something that needs to be done. Having a strong HOH who interprates them is also important.
Don’t make up rules on the fly, think about them before hand and agree to them and try and stick to them.
Allow yourselves days off – days when you both agree you’re not going to engage in DD.
Allow flexibility in the rules and review them to ensure that they’re actually what you want to do.
Take punishment time seriously. It is meant to deter future bad behaviour and should do so. For the punisher, you have more than your partners consent to punish – your partner WANTS or NEEDS you to punish to acheive goals. Don’t let them down. For the punishee – as just mentioned you want your partner to punish you so help you acheive your goals. Don’t be suprised when you get a call for a punishment – it is for the greater good.
Don’t let not being in a mood for a spanking get in the way. This is not for sexual relief.
Remember this is within a loving relationship to achieve goals, don’t let it become abuse.
Initially, start with a few rules and keep them simple. Add rules later once you get into the way of things.
How you interprate the rules is entirely up to individuals and moods. Some go for a complete strict approach with absolutely no allowances, others go for a more relaxed approach. We tend to stick to the relaxed approach most of the time.
Punishment time is also something that couples do differently. Some like a weekly assessment and perform punishments at this time, whilst others like to act immediately or at the first convenient time – “Wait ’till I get you home”. Having the best of both works too. An immediate punishment as soon as the offence is committed, with a weekly to cover all the others. There is also the option of having a punishment BEFORE any offence might be committed to encourage good behaviour. Imagine you are both going out to a dinner party and you don’t want your partner getting too drunk again as they did last time… You get the idea.
Punishments don’t need to be limited to spanking bums.
Above all, don’t let anyone tell you that you’re doing it wrong. Your Domestic Discipline arrangment is yours to do what you want to do, however if you want advice, then ask.
And lastly, enjoy your new Domestic Discipline lifestyle. It can be rewarding, even humbling after a punishment when you both get together hug, kiss and make up. It takes a lot of stresses and tensions out of the relationship. You may also find that you say sorry a bit more too.