FLR / DD Relaunched

We’ve relaunched our FLR / FLM / DD lifestyle. We’ve been getting lax and falling into bad habits – OK possibly because last year I was not well and incapable of doing a lot of things as well as really not wanting any sex or kink.

So Monday I suggested to Lady C that we should look at a relaunch I was quite surprised when She replied with a blunt “Yes, we’ll discuss that tonight”. We visited the pub and after dinner She brought the subject up.

“So you want to relaunch the FLR? Well its going to be me making all the decisions, telling you what to do, making you eat healthier, drink less, going where I want to go, doing chores around the house, and giving me sex whenever I want? Is that what you want – no choice, no argument?”. “You do realise that you’ll get your ass strapped a lot more, and unless you want your cock permanently caged, you’ll need to do as I say, quickly and with good grace”. We’ll still make the big decisions together, of course, but She will have the final say.

This is bit different, she means business this time. “So, starting now you WILL do as I wish and keep me happy”. With that she took me up to the bedroom and sealed the deal with the nasty wooden paddle. “I like this paddle”, she says, “You made it specially for me to punish you with and I can see that you don’t like it”. With the paddle, She started spanking whilst lecturing me on her rules and our FLR/FLM arrangement. “You, will do as I say , otherwise this is what will happen. Understood?

So another chapter begins, with a stricter regime than last. So far She is living up to Her promises and we’re starting to get a bit more organised and putting the house and our lifes in order, with the paddle and straps keeping me focused.

Time will tell how things will turn out, but for now I’m enjoying it.

Updates on My Dicktator

I’ve made some tweaks to my Chastity Device or as we call it here, Dicktator.   It now feels more comfortable, whilst more restricting and at the same time is performing better.   What did I do?

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A New HOH and Consequences

Is there a new HOH swinging the straps in the relationship?  No – C is finding a she has a new stronger, stricter self.  Instead of the half-hearted “that’ll be OK”, “we’ll do that later”, “doesn’t matter” the new rules that we’ve published will be the standard against which to judge our performance.

We’re a team here and that doesn’t mean that I have to slave away at them all by myself.  They are carefully selected rules or limits in each of our goals that will make something better in our lifes. The higher we value the goal, the stricter the rules are and the closer scrutiny that C has to review our performance.  The way I see it, I have great organisational skills and are good with craft based, technical, financial and other numerical type tasks.  However, I’m not a good self starter and would take any opportunity to avoid having to do things if I could.  C on the otherhand is a good at getting up and getting started.  Once we are working together harmoniously, then we could build a hollowed out volcano and plan for control of planet earth, or maybe just get some painting done.  I’ve many an old school report that says “A has great potential, but tends not to apply himself”.  I received the tawse on my hands a few times in school for this very thing.  Funny how things go around.  Luckily our modern style teachers do not have to resort to such barbaric behaviour anymore.

As we’ve mentioned in the past, C finds it difficult when it comes to the punishments so we have started to formulate a document with Consequences.  Each goal or rule group has  a particular punishment level assigned to it , some we are going to create finer grained levels for each rules.  The punishment level is a number 1-4 where 1 is almost erotic, 2 is a medium punishment to focus you, 3 is a punishment that’ll you remember for a while and 4 is a punishment that you never want again.

Each of these punishment levels is defined in the list and an example is that any attempt to undermine HOH’s standing, challenges on HOH’s decisions or anything that is a blatant disregard for our DD Framework will be 4 (severe).  One of our other goals is our alcohol, fitness and health goal – these we have recognised as being the most important goal we have that has major knockon effects for everything else we do (or not).  Therefore they are likely to be 4 as well.  Some of the others we haven’t figured out or had time to discuss yet, but most will be 2 or 3.  The various levels have indications that tell HOH when the appropriate level has been reached.

The rational behind this is there is a simple criterion to determine if a rule has been broken.  The consequence figures out the level of punishment.  All HOH has to do is to administer the punishment until the required level has been reached.  That should take help C to detach from the punishment aspect as these have all been defined and agreed and should also help me as its going to be clearer what the consequence of avoiding a particular task will be.  There is a hidden in the small print that if HOH doesn’t attempt to perform the required punishment then she will be punished every evening and morning until a suitable punishment has been delivered.  In other words, punish or be punished.  I think I know which of these C will be going for.

That was one of the things I’ve started to put C more at ease in the HOH role.  Along with the challenges I set her, she is fast becoming a new HOH.  With an initial set of Consequences and Punishment Levels defined I helped her find instances of bad behaviour of the last week or so.  I found 4 things that should be punished – three of these were for PMO (pissing me off).  C left me to analyse them and I my analysis came up with various rule breaches including PMO, challenging HOH’s style and other minor things.  I also included, as it was easy to look at the Consequences, the appropriate punishment level.  There were two level 2+, and two at level 3+.  When C returned I started to go through the first of the misdemeanors with her and with no discussion she agreed straight away that my suggestion would be fulfilled.  She thought it was too harsh, but was going to do it anyway.  The other three we haven’t discussed yet.

So for a ignoring an instruction from HOH and actually doing what she told me not to do and leaving clothes lying around the bedroom I had selected punishment at level 2+.  The first of these probably deserved a 4 on its own, however I suggested  lower punishment.   I’ll leave the details of the crime out, if C wants to add to the punishment by humiliating me by publishing these here then that is her perogative.  However you can probably have a good idea on the content of it by the punishment – A’s wanking hand will be strapped and his cock locked in the Dicktator from when he arrives home on Wednesday until C arrives home on Friday.

I duly arrived home after being away for more than a week before C came home I had to fit Dicktator with the “comfort” ring.  C arrived home a few hours later and after a quick kiss and hugs got down to her HOH business.  She checked that Dicktator was indeed fitted and locked and then got the 2M tawse out and proceeded to strap my hand with it – just the one hand luckily.  The last time she strapped hands it was the lighter 2H tawse for two strokes, but now with more confidence and a stiffer implement she delivered a single stingy stroke to my hand.  I was quite glad that she only gave the one.  A second immediately after that one would be hard to take and a third would probably make my eyes water.

So as I write this I am reminded by a tingle in my right hand of my misdemeanor and that my manhood is available to me and locked up in a perspex prison.   In the past C would have probably given in to my protests and released me by now with a view that justice had been done.  The new stricter C is intending to see the 2 day sentence completed and is even threatening to double it if I don’t shutup about it.    There’s small comfort in all this that C is changing to become the HOH that we need.  One challenge was that when I returned from these business trips that the be all nice to each other honeymoon period that we have for the first 2-3 days should continue, but not at the expense of any outstanding HOH business.

I’m torn between two things: I want C to stick by her decisions and see the punishment meted out in full with any extras that she feels have been earned for complaints etc; the other half of me wanted to get out of the chastity device and make love, especially as C still had demands on me for her pleasure.  Oh how smug she looked with an I’m all powerful look about her and am strong enough not to give in.  Overall, for the benefit of DD and to make C that HOH who has to be obeyed and whose decisions to be respected, she has to be cruel to be kind, otherwise the HOH role and the DD Relationship are all going to be diluted and will not serve us well in the future.  Dicktator is not sore, and not uncomfortable to wear, it’s just a nuisance. Toilet visits have to be seated which adds to the punishment especially when we intended to go to the pub.  We did go to the pub after C had been suitably pleasured and the pint of cold beer was a very welcome relief to my strapped hand.

What have I learned from this experience?  C is becoming that strict HOH and the days when I could manipulate her are quickly disappearing; don’t deliberately break the rules and annoy HOH to try and goad her into playing Mistress; punishment are going to get harder.  Will I do the same again?  Maybe not very soon.  Overall good marks for C for breaking down the barriers that are preventing the DD to continue.


The other three violations are still in C’s “Hit List”.  At present she doesn’t seem to be too bothered about them.  My thoughts are that they should be entered by the HOH, or as directed by HOH.  The same goes for the removal of them, HOH should either mark them as complete or request me to do it.

For all the couples with a female led DD relationship you really need to pester C into blogging about the effectiveness and effects of having your male charge locked up.