Caning Practice


I got this nice cane for Lady C’s Christmas present.   She barely used it at all in January, so I offered her my bottom to her to practice so she could become more proficient in its use.

She took me at my word and almost every night bares my ass and does some practice.  As it was to be practice I said I would give her feedback.   The thing that normally reminds her is when she sees the implement of the week hanging up.

The first night was very light taps and I encouraged her to try some trial swishes in the air.  Wow, some of them caused me to wince just looking at them.   She’s steadily got harder and after a half dozen can get me wriggling out of the way of them.  One thing she hasn’t decided on yet is whether to do a full swing with follow through or stop the swing short of my ass and let the momentum and bend of the cane to do the business.   We’re open to suggestions as to the best method or other tips as neither of us have had any experience of the cane outwith our bedroom.   If I had a complaint, it would be that she has a tendency to cane too high up my bottom and when she does strike the lower part it stings so much more.  When she goes really low and catches the crease between ass cheek and thigh she usually apologizes to me – not very Mistress!

She’s not quite managed to get to that next step and cause welts and weals on my ass, but it won’t be long.   This cane is longer and thicker than the previous one and I can feel the difference without much effort on C’s part. Eventually it’ll be able to take it’s place in our collection of punishment implements.

Things I Like To Hear


There’s some things as a spanko I just love to hear.   Depending on your status you probably say them too or have heard them.   Generally outwith a spanking scenario they set my pulse racing and send kindle some excitment in my loins.

Probably my favourite is “Just wait ’till I get you home” with “You’re going to suffer for that”.  Others include “I’m going to warm your ass”, “You won’t be able to sit down for a week”, “Go fetch my strap”, “Get your naked ass onto the bed and in the air”, “Higher, nice and taut for the strap”, “You’re really going to get it now”, “I’ve just started, there’s plenty more where that came from”, “Your ass is nice and red”, “All  nice and toasty” and “That’s going to welt”.

For me, they’re all part of the discipline process, without them wouldn’t be the same.   What’s you favourite?

A

The Disciplinarian


Disciplinarian : a person who is very strict about punishing bad behavior : a person who uses discipline as a way of making sure that rules or orders are obeyed.

I want Lady C to be my own personal Disciplinarian.  I need this, I want this.   I want her to help me achieve my goals through a set of goals and rules – my rules, my goals.   When I struggle to meet my goals or even to get started on them that when Lady C has to be the Disciplinarian.

Of course, just having my rules would be selfish.  Lady C needs rules too and I’m quite happy to have her enforce them too.  That’s the basis of consensual Domestic Discipline.

I’ve not decided as this point what my goal and rules are going to be, but as usual they need to be achievable and be measurable.  I see the rules as being very changeable and dynamic.  There’s lots of examples – I need to make a plan today, I don’t want to drink any more than 3 pints of beer on a particular night or I want the kitchen kept to a level of tidyness.

I’m also going to suggest some punishments and encouragements, because after all their my rules.  However, if Lady C wants to use her own or enhance mine, then I have no problem with that.

This is nothing new to us, just a refresh as to our commitment to DD and each other.

Time to go and figure out what I want to achieve with my life this week…

A

Maintenance With Attitude


For a while now I’ve wondered what it would be like to get the HOH Strap at full strength.    HOH has delivered a few at full strength before but only towards the end of a punishment and my ass is already throbbing.

I suggested that she performs maintenance as normal except that each stroke would be full on and not the measured 25% or 50% that she normally give.   “Are you sure?”, she asks.   “Yes”, well I was at the time.  Since maintenance has been overdue every week this year so far and this we are catching up and today is maintenance day so it should be something a bit special.

“Then that’s how it’ll be”, she says.

This morning she left for the shower with the instructions to be ready for her coming back.   Maybe she’ll have forgotten last night’s conversation I though.  Better get ready and in position anyway.   So I got ready on my elbows and knees with bum raised and strap laying across the small of my back and waited there with the bed covers still over me.

HOH walks back into the room and puts the main lights on and pulls back the covers.    Without any further delay she lifts the cold strap and with the other hand pushes me on the back urging me to stick my bum out slightly more.

“It was to be Maintenance with Attitute, wasn’t it?”,  Ok, she’s not forgotten so I kept in position not moving and said nothing.

Maintenance is normally six strokes with the HOH Strap.    The first stroke landed square across my ass, just at the really sensitive crease.   “Too low” muttered Lady C, “too damnned accurate and sore” I though.  What a difference to the usual strokes.   The others rained down, most didn’t land squarely, but number five was spectacular – just a bit higher and the first – and then because number six was another mishit she repeated it.

“Oooh, that’s toasty warm, isn’t it?”

Normally a strapping with the HOH Strap takes a discrete time for the heat to develop, but today was instant and the redness appearing not far behind.

At the time I thought that Lady C needs to practice a bit and perfect her harder strokes.   Funnily enough she send a message on her way to work that she needs practice.    During a punishment she seems to be able to do it no problem and I’ve watched over my shoulder as she gets into a rhythym and gives it her all.

Perhaps I should set up the video camera and we can strive towards perfection so that the mere mention of some hard strokes sets my pulse racing.   That’s my Darling Disciplinarian.

Getting Started In Domestic Discipline Part 3


The first two parts have been consolidated here and are probably most of what any beginners to DD need to know.   In this part I’m going to finish up by discussing Boot Camps and some other bits and pieces that don’t really fit in anywhere else.

Boot Camps

We don’t do these correctly, however who’s to say any other way is wrong either.   The purpose of Boot Camps is to have, usually, a weekend set aside when you do nothing except talk, act and sleep Domestic Discipline.   It is an opportunity to establish the HOH and take each other out of their own comfort zones.   By this I mean you will get a punishment that is very hard by your own standards or in the case of HOH have to administer it.    Trust me its harder than it sounds from both sides.

When we do boot camps we tend to have a week when maintenance is performed daily and every task or rule is taken to extremes and punishments dished out accordingly.   For us the idea is to get us back into the way of the DD routine and making sure things gets done.

However you choose to do it is entirely up to you, but do take the time to plan it out in advance and if spending an entire weekend, make sure that you don’t need to stop to go out and goto the shops or have any other things that get in the way.  For us, our weekends are precious to us and we don’t want to give them up by staying in the house all weekend.

Other Hints and Tips

Whatever you make your DD arrangement is entirely up to yourselves.   I’ve given some ideas from what we do and have found to work for us.  Its up to you to find what works for you.

Getting the rules recorded is definately something that needs to be done.  Having a strong HOH who interprates them is also important.

Don’t make up rules on the fly, think about them before hand and agree to them and try and stick to them.

Allow yourselves days off – days when you both agree you’re not going to engage in DD.

Allow flexibility in the rules and review them to ensure that they’re actually what you want to do.

Take punishment time seriously.   It is meant to deter future bad behaviour and should do so.   For the punisher, you have more than your partners consent to punish – your partner WANTS or NEEDS you to punish to acheive goals.   Don’t let them down.   For the punishee – as just mentioned you want your partner to punish you so help you acheive your goals.   Don’t be suprised when you get a call for a punishment – it is for the greater good.

Don’t let not being in a mood for a spanking get in the way.  This is not for sexual relief.

Remember this is within a loving relationship to achieve goals, don’t let it become abuse.

Initially, start with a few rules and keep them simple.   Add rules later once you get into the way of things.

How you interprate the rules is entirely up to individuals and moods.   Some go for a complete strict approach with absolutely no allowances, others go for a more relaxed approach.   We tend to stick to the relaxed approach most of the time.

Punishment time is also something that couples do differently.  Some like a weekly assessment and perform punishments at this time, whilst others like to act immediately or at the first convenient time – “Wait ’till I get you home”.    Having the best of both works too.   An immediate punishment as soon as the offence is committed, with a weekly to cover all the others.   There is also the option of having a punishment BEFORE any offence might be committed to encourage good behaviour.   Imagine you are both going out to a dinner party and you don’t want your partner getting too drunk again as they did last time… You get the idea.

Punishments don’t need to be limited to spanking bums.

Above all, don’t let anyone tell you that you’re doing it wrong.   Your Domestic Discipline arrangment is yours to do what you want to do, however if you want advice, then ask.

And lastly, enjoy your new Domestic Discipline lifestyle.   It can be rewarding, even humbling after a punishment when you both get together hug, kiss and make up.   It takes a lot of stresses and tensions out of the relationship.     You may also find that you say sorry a bit more too.

Enjoy,

A

Getting Started in Domestic Discipline Part 2


This is part 2 of a multi-part blog.  Part 1 is here where I described the initial parts of getting your goals/rules agreed and adopted by both in the relationship.   I cannot say it enough.  Discuss and communicate as much as possible.  Ensure that your joint goals are agreed by you both and are actually achievable.   In this post I’m going to introduce who’s going to supervise and implement the rules and what happens when they are not followed.

HOH

Unless you have a completely equal relationship then one of you is going to naturaly become the more dominate and therefore the person in charge.  In DD parlance they are known as the Head of the Household or HOH.   HOH assumes charge of the rules and measures the compliance to them and ultimately decides what happens when they are not followed.

HOH should schedule a regular review of performance and there are many ways of doing this including the good old fashioned punishment book to high tech computer / smartphone based solutions.   If you have a relationship that is not one sided then it is more a mutual arrangement with both looking closely at each other.

Be honest with each other.  If you have underperformed then accept that, arguing that you couldn’t be bothered or were too busy doing other things should not be acceptable.  If you weren’t going to manage to get something done then surely you knew BEFORE hand and not a week later?

HOH will quickly reach a verdict and announce that a punishment is due.

Of course, reviews do not need to be weekly and can be an ongoing thing.   If something is going wrong and rules are being broken, then why wait for more?   Act immediately and, if necessary, follow up with some more at the periodic review.

Discipline

When rules are broken, then discipline is required.   Usually HOH shall administer, but if your on an even footing then both can administer to each other.

You may find this harder to do this initially than you thought.   Assuming a nice HOH in charge and a naughty partner who has not quite achieved the performance standard and both are in a loving relationship.    How easy is it to raise your fists and physically hurt the other?   Difficult isn’t it – you just wouldn’t do it.  Therefore, by the same argument, using a spanking implement to cause someone who you care about hurt will be difficult too.   Allowing it and accepting it will be difficult too.

We have taken the approach of agreeing to mutually acceptable punishments up front at the time we agreed to rules.   I have suggested to my HOH a number of punishments that I would not like to get, but prepared to accept should my performance merit it.  Some are for the lesser rule breaches, and others for more serious matters.    Whatever happens, we have a mutual understanding and agreement about what is going to happen.

We do not use any safe words, the standards have been set and we can review them whenever we want, but once punishment time comes it is up to HOH to administer the punishments as HOH sees fit.   HOH uses her judgement to assess if too little or too much, but either way there is no decision or too much emotions to get in the way.

A punishment should definately be something not to be looked forward too, too light and its really not worth the bother.  It should definately be something that the recipient does not want repeated too soon.    I have made the assumption that most people who read this are going to be into some form of S&M and more particularly spanking.   We are too, but not all punishments need to be in this way, there are other ways of punishment including restricting or depriving of treats.   Some HOH also sustain the physical punishment with some quiet time alone in the bedroom or standing in the corner before or after to allow them to reflect.

There should also be a formal element, no joking, HOH should take control and direct you into position.  We have a standard position that I have to adopt.  It gives HOH a good chance of striking the target area with little effort and makes for most pain.

After the punishment make sure that you both hug and show each other that you both care.   Both are forgiven, and there are no bad feelings and you can now move forward without any bad feelings or moods.

Initially it may seem like fun but ask yourselve if  you can handle a spanking that is going to hurt, possibly even lead to cries to stop or tears.   If it’s a boudoir spanking from a semi-naked maiden to spice up life in the bedroom then possibly DD is not for you.   You have both agreed to rules and punishments so whatever happens may be a shock to the system first time especially if you really only wanted a bit of kink.   Are you up to be spanked when HOH decides when possibly you’re not in the mood?  Future HOH – don’t let this be an excuse, effective punishments lead to less rule violations and ultimately your goals will be realised.    Now that’s what you want to do this for isn’t it?

We have several specialist implements that are used for punishments.   We have elevated one of them to almost superstar status and named it as HOH Strap.   This is HOH’s favourite, it is easy to use, nasty to receive and synonomous with DD.   I would suggest you get something similiar, even putting it on a hook in the bedroom showing that it is there to be used.

So what happens when there’s been no punishments for a while?   Maintenance Spankings shortened to Maintenance is the answer.

Maintenance

Over time the pain of punishment will subside and behaviours will revert.   It is for this reason that HOH is encouraged to regularly administer a maintenance spanking.   This give HOH the chance to keep their hand in and to emphasis that DD is still around and misbehaviour WILL result in something a lot worse.

We try and do maintenance every Wednesday morning and if its missed then it just happens at the next most opportune time.   I even have to remind HOH if she has forgotten.     Six strokes from her HOH Strap is the regular dose.   Its a very sharp reminder about what that strap is capable of.   I can usually look over my shoulder and see the determination in HOH’s face as she cracks it down.   I know HOH (and the Strap) have a lot left in reserve and that is effective maintenance – a gentle reminder of who is in charge and the consequences.

Summary

We established in part 1 that to get started in DD you need agreed goals and rules.  In this part we have discussed that there should be somebody (HOH) in charge to make sure these rules are followed.    Punishments will be administered by HOH on these rule violations and even these have been agreed beforehand.

For us, the key to a sucessfull DD relationship is discussion and agreement.  Everything else just falls into place.

A Good Spanking


I’ve mentioned a few time over the course of posting here about what consitutes a good spanking.    The best thing for summing it up is the phase “A good spanking only starts when the recipient wants it to stop”.

Continue reading

Punishment Time


Just over a week ago I mentioned here that I had refused maintenance and upset HOH. Continue reading

Were We Bad?


The other day I had to give C a spanking as she has been performing a bit leniently as HOH.   As part of her punishment she was tasked with a mini boot camp to prove that she was a competant disciplinarian for a reduction in the spanking.   Honestly 15 seconds hand spanking and she was wriggling on my knee like she had been whacked with the evilest of our straps.  I think I’ll need to give her a lot more a get her butt toughened up a bit. Continue reading

Whats In A Name


We have a head of the household (HOH) role, but what do we call my role?

I have thought of OOH (other of the household), DOH (disciplined of the house) and ARGH (ass really gets hurt).  My favourite is OOH and will probably start using it in the blog and other places.  Its also the sound that means that C is doing it right.