Welcome Home

Been working away again.  When it was getting time to book my return travel Mistress told me that I was going to get a spanking as soon as I get home.

For the next couple of days that’s all she spoke about.  “You’re getting a spanking whether you like it or not”.    “You’ll be naked over my knee”,  “You know you want it”, “Because I can, and I will”.

So when I did get, she allowed me to shower and then it was straight over her knee for a hand spanking.   She was naked except for a pair of “fuck me” shoes and whilst spanking lectured me that this was remind me that She is the boss of our relationship.

The spanking wasn’t too long, just hard enough to bring a glow to my cheeks and to re-establish Lady C as head of the house.


The Disciplinarian

Disciplinarian : a person who is very strict about punishing bad behavior : a person who uses discipline as a way of making sure that rules or orders are obeyed.

I want Lady C to be my own personal Disciplinarian.  I need this, I want this.   I want her to help me achieve my goals through a set of goals and rules – my rules, my goals.   When I struggle to meet my goals or even to get started on them that when Lady C has to be the Disciplinarian.

Of course, just having my rules would be selfish.  Lady C needs rules too and I’m quite happy to have her enforce them too.  That’s the basis of consensual Domestic Discipline.

I’ve not decided as this point what my goal and rules are going to be, but as usual they need to be achievable and be measurable.  I see the rules as being very changeable and dynamic.  There’s lots of examples – I need to make a plan today, I don’t want to drink any more than 3 pints of beer on a particular night or I want the kitchen kept to a level of tidyness.

I’m also going to suggest some punishments and encouragements, because after all their my rules.  However, if Lady C wants to use her own or enhance mine, then I have no problem with that.

This is nothing new to us, just a refresh as to our commitment to DD and each other.

Time to go and figure out what I want to achieve with my life this week…


Super Strict, Swift and Silent

That’s our latest venture in Domestic Discipline, otherwise known as SSS DD.    Its that time of year when we have almost permanent house guests and even getting the house to ourselves for 5 minutes for maintenance is impossible.  Therefore we have thought up the Super Strict, Swift and Silent.

The straps and paddles make a lot of noise and it would be heard by inquisitive souls, therefore they are out.  Loopy Johnny is relatively quiet and good for a quick couple of lashes.   The small OTK cane is also quite quiet as is the crop.  We haven’t used either of there for a while.    The tawse on outstretched hands is another although it makes a slight noise – a noise that could be disguised by the TV or radio.  The other major benefit is that it requires no undressing making it very swift to administer.

Swift was taken to mean, that any infraction was to be dealt with almost immediately.  Now if in company that’s not always easy to do, however although we have guests we find ourselves in the back of the house in the dining room or kitchen alone quite a bit.  For these occasions, Lady C can do some quick CBT, or its only ten steps out the french windows to the shed where it is possible to make slightly more noise.   And who’s going to notice spanking noises coming from a shed?   We’ve placed a strap out there just ready for use – I thought it was almost in clear view, but Lady C took the best part of 15 minutes to find it.   The challenge was if she could find it, she could use it.  Still waiting for that to happen.

So that’s the swift and the silent.  The strict was a desire for Lady C to take note of absolutely everything I say or do and be able to find some fault with it.   Lady C is still not as strict as I would like sometimes, there’s always that thing where she wants to be nice to me after a bad day at work.  We’ll need to work on that one.

So today we find ourselves exploring the quiet and private places in our house with a list of outstanding punishments that need to be addressed.   What better way to spend a rainy day?


International Consensual Spanking Day

Saturday 8th August was International Consensual Spanking Day I read on the web – here to be precise.  I told Lady C about it and asked if she wished I could spank her naked ass consensually – she declined 😦

I offered mine to her for a spanking in a style that I wanted and she jumped at the chance.   Lying naked on the bed with Lady C sitting astride me with the boudoir paddle.   Just the perfect position for her to paddle my ass long and hard.    And she did enjoying every moment especially when I was trying to wriggle and swirm and just couldn’t get out of the way of the nasty little paddle.

In a DD relationship, aren’t all spankings consensual?   I gave my consent to Lady C a long while ago that she could spank and punish my ass any time, any place and make it memorable.  What’s the different on Spanking Day?  For us, nothing really.   Just a change of position and implement and be able to say we celebrated International Consensual Spanking Day and raised our glasses for a toast.

If you did so too, hope you had as much fun as we did.


Get Over It

The last couple of weekends we’ve been having some play – C plays the extra strict picky dominant one and I do the other bit.   When I mean picky, I mean really picky.  For example are the knives and forks put on the table the way that C likes them; are the salt and pepper in a straight line; was the wine poured neatly.

Last weekend, I had to address C as My Lady, this weekend she decided that Mistress was to be her preferred form of address.   I get my full first name.  In company C is known as the quite vanilla My Darling (HOH).   There are, of course, lots of spankings.  Some just because C wants to, others for not quite meeting C’s standards.

Yesterday, I managed to accumulate a spanking in the time it took to pickup C from her work and return home – namely not shaving for her.  Once back in the house she inspected the bathroom with I had cleaned – not good enough she says.  By the time we got to the bus stop on the way to the pub I managed to get another for telling C (or Mistress) to “get over it”.   She really doesn’t like me using that phrase and visibily bristles.

Once home after a quick couple of drinks I start getting the spankings.   The first one using her new strap on my hands and knees on the floor with Mistress straddling me as she straps down my cheeks – ouch.   Just before dinner is served she invites me to lie over the table whilst she straps me with the Glasgow strap – not the best performance as there’s not enough room so I think I got off lightly.   Last one was when we retired to bed lying flat on my tummy as she strapped with the new strap again, again a bit easier on my ass when its not stretched.

She’s already promised me another spanking tonight after she gets home again 😦   Can’t imagine what that would be for.

These weekends of kinky strict fun are a good way of playing out a complete BDSM relationship whilst still doing the same things we would normally do.   I can’t ever see us doing it 24×7 and the complete attention to detail is a bit OTT.  I do like the aspect of the instant punishments/spankings even though they hurt at the time and I think we should extend these more into our DD relationship.   Even if we only make one rule or goal for a week, we should agree to it and comply with it and spankings when we don’t.  That would be my preferred DD – a immediate punishments when they are earned, no need to keep records or reminders and some sensible rules or plans to help up acheive our goals.

Time for discussion with Mistress while we create some sensible goals and plans.


Lady C performed another two doses of maintenance the other morning and then carried on.   “And these two strokes are for being cheeky via email, and three for distracting me when I was trying to iron”.

Mistress Strap

Mistress Strap

Standard maintenance is six strokes with the evil HOH strap.    If maintenance is six strokes, shouldn’t a punishment be harder, longer?   At least the same?   Not that many strokes with this particular strap are needed to get the point over.

Anyway, I pointed this fact out to HOH.   I also pointed out about another infraction that she not bothered to note down or punish for.   That particular offence was having a background image on my tablet computer of a cute bum which was not C’s.   It reminds me of hers and I especially like the look over the shoulder as that is so Lady C.

She was mildly hurt by it and again I asked was this not one of the fundamental reasons for DD and doesn’t a spanked bot displace that hurt and clear the air?

The upshot of all this is that it kinda annoyed her a bit, not so much the perving at bums on tablet but telling her she was not doing discipline correctly. So when I got home Lady C was waiting for me in the bedroom and was in a more determined mood.   I would get a sore bot.  It would be very red, very stingy, and very memorable and she would not be stopping until it was so.   C has a very easy going attitute most of the time and that includes when she’s swinging straps around.  It’s almost that she doesn’t want to hurt me and just be nice.

In a strange way when C punishes hard I feel more loved than at any other time.   For a start we would not be doing this if we didn’t have a loving relationship and when its all over we ALWAYS hug.

Back to the pending punishments.    She made me fetch ten implements and lay them in front of her – the HOH Strap, Dominator Strap, Cane, Glasgow Strap, Loopy Johnny, Boudoir and wooden paddles and the three Lochgelly tawses.  “Pick two and I’ll pick two” she commands.

Boudoir PaddleI picked the dominator strap and the boudoir paddle.  She asks why I picked these two particular implements.  The dominator strap is by far the hardest and heavest implement that we have and with very little effort it has devastating results.  The boudoir paddle, by contrast, is probably one of the lightest.  Don’t get me wrong it is still very capable of producing sting.  That was chosen for its ability to colour in the rest of the bum that the strap missed or can’t easily access.   My choice was accepted even though she finds the strap quite ackward and heavy to hold, however I think the attraction of lots of sting and heat with little effort won the argument.

Her choice was her favourite HOH Strap and the wooden paddle I made recently.   She likes the paddle. It has a nice soft feel, an easy grip handle and is well balanced.  It also produces a lot of sting, not that she’s ever had it touch her bum.  The HOH Strap was no big surprise, after all it is her favourite and she knows that theres a lot in reserve beyond the standard six that she gives for maintenance.

Now it is time for my bottom to be bared.   She eventually chooses that I should get on my elbows and knees on the floor and she will stand astride me so that she can strap down my cheeks.   “How many strokes do you think?”, she asks.   “Never mind, I’ll finish when I’m happy with the result”.

I’m sure she could strap harder if she wanted, but she’s after accuracy and wants every stroke to count.  I didn’t count the strokes but it did not take too long (4 strokes) before I tried to wriggle out of the way.  There were strokes to the middle of one cheek, strokes to the other and then a few covered the middle making for a mostly all over covering.  I can’t remember how many times she ordered me back into position so that the strap could find its target again.

Next came the boudoir paddle and in the same position, it was used briskly on my already burning bum cheeks.  These were hard strokes, nothing like the power of the dominator strap but I could still feel them and before long I was wriggling to try and avoid these too.

So that was the first punishment for the bum image.   Lady C was impressed with her work so far.  A nice deep red and lots of heat.

Next I was to be punished for annoying her and being cheeky.   For this I was face down, flat on the bed.  This is a bit easier that the position for maintenance which stretches the skin over the bum making every stroke hurt like hell.   She started with the wooden paddle and just like the other implements so far had me squirming out of the way almost immediately.   Satisfied that the paddle had done its work she picked up HOH Strap and announcing that if I couldn’t stay in position she would restrain me and start over.

I was looking to my left and could see that determined look and feel the hand in the small of my back to keep me where she wanted.  Then the strokes.   She was putting quite a bit of effort into each stroke – a lot harder than maintenance – and each was landed squarely across both cheeks on the sweet spot.   After the first six I was definately feeling the need to avoid the blows, but these slow hard strokes can be easier to keep in position for than the quick fire ones that come raining down.

Eventually she stopped.  I’m unsure if she intended stopping after that particular stroke or if it was the fact that it slightly wrapped further around my cheek causing me to jump.  Either way she stopped, I hope it wasn’t because of that last stroke wrapping and she had a good look and feel and this time she was really impressed by the warmth and colour.   “You’re going to feel this tomorrow at work when you sit down and remember this punishment”.   She must have been satisfied by the overall result as she took several photographs which I’ll put up on the gallery.

With the real punishment over, it was now time for the hugs and kisses and to make ammends for the bum wallpaper by performing some worship of C’s bum and put an enigmatic smile on her face.

How Strict Is Your HOH

How strict is your HOH, or just as importantly, how strict do you want them to be?    Sometimes I want HOH to be quite relaxed and basically lazy.  That allows me to be lazy too and when we’re like this we’re usually lazing about the house or visiting the pub.    Not really the reasons we started DD, but every now and again we need to be like this to recharge and whilst not doing anything about we do talk and thing of grand plans.

The opposite end of the scale would be complete strict bitch.   I looked at the defination of strict here. Just what every HOH should be – “Demanding that behaviour concerning behaviour are obeyed and observed.”    Another word to look at is stern – “… serious and unrelenting, especially in the assertion of authority and excercise of discipline”.

Somewhere in the middle is the more fair HOH – one who can made a judgement that although things didn’t get completed there was a valid reason or someting else was done instead.   This is probably where we should be most of the time, but aren’t.

I want C to be the strict and stern HOH from time to time.   When she’s in this mood it means I’m focussed and we achieve things.  Its not quite boot camp but just turns up the DDness a bit.  With this in mind, I set out and fabricated the HOH-o-meter.


I’ve got some games spinners – they cost pennies from Amazon – but they’re just the spinner.  I was surprised how many there were in the bag when I only wanted one or two.    I screwed one of them to a piece of laminate board we had left over and it accepts dry marker or white board pens.   Around the spinner I’ve written “Easy”, “Fair” and “Strict Bitch”.   The idea is not to spin the arrow and take your chances but to point at how I want HOH to be.

It was initially a bit of fun, but I think we can take this further and allow either of us to up the ante when we notice that things are standards start to fall again.

I’ve also made some other things with the spinners, they were most definately for play.   Two spinners, the first marked with plastic/rubber, wood, leather and the other with short+light, long+light, short+hard, long+hard.  Spin each to discover something to do – plastic/rubber could be a chastity device, C’s HOH Strap or the ball crusher, wood could be the humbler or a paddle and leather could be any of our tawses/straps or some fetish leather wear.   I made a serious design flaw by putting long+hard at the bottom. Holding it up to show C what I’d made it continually stopped spinning at long+hard.    Best used on a flat horizontal surface.

Whilst the HOH-O-Meter is a bit of fun I do want C to take the serious strict bitch role more sometimes.   Its still too easy to put off doing tasks and chores and by the end of a week we’ve achieved nothing again except to fill the recycling with wine bottles and fill the pub tills with cash.    I think the strict bitch Lady C and I need to look closely at our goals again, not the long term ones, but the short term ones.  What do we need to do this week or today? Also the flip side of that is – what should we not do this week?

How strict and stern do you want your HOH to be?

Getting Started In Domestic Discipline Part 3

The first two parts have been consolidated here and are probably most of what any beginners to DD need to know.   In this part I’m going to finish up by discussing Boot Camps and some other bits and pieces that don’t really fit in anywhere else.

Boot Camps

We don’t do these correctly, however who’s to say any other way is wrong either.   The purpose of Boot Camps is to have, usually, a weekend set aside when you do nothing except talk, act and sleep Domestic Discipline.   It is an opportunity to establish the HOH and take each other out of their own comfort zones.   By this I mean you will get a punishment that is very hard by your own standards or in the case of HOH have to administer it.    Trust me its harder than it sounds from both sides.

When we do boot camps we tend to have a week when maintenance is performed daily and every task or rule is taken to extremes and punishments dished out accordingly.   For us the idea is to get us back into the way of the DD routine and making sure things gets done.

However you choose to do it is entirely up to you, but do take the time to plan it out in advance and if spending an entire weekend, make sure that you don’t need to stop to go out and goto the shops or have any other things that get in the way.  For us, our weekends are precious to us and we don’t want to give them up by staying in the house all weekend.

Other Hints and Tips

Whatever you make your DD arrangement is entirely up to yourselves.   I’ve given some ideas from what we do and have found to work for us.  Its up to you to find what works for you.

Getting the rules recorded is definately something that needs to be done.  Having a strong HOH who interprates them is also important.

Don’t make up rules on the fly, think about them before hand and agree to them and try and stick to them.

Allow yourselves days off – days when you both agree you’re not going to engage in DD.

Allow flexibility in the rules and review them to ensure that they’re actually what you want to do.

Take punishment time seriously.   It is meant to deter future bad behaviour and should do so.   For the punisher, you have more than your partners consent to punish – your partner WANTS or NEEDS you to punish to acheive goals.   Don’t let them down.   For the punishee – as just mentioned you want your partner to punish you so help you acheive your goals.   Don’t be suprised when you get a call for a punishment – it is for the greater good.

Don’t let not being in a mood for a spanking get in the way.  This is not for sexual relief.

Remember this is within a loving relationship to achieve goals, don’t let it become abuse.

Initially, start with a few rules and keep them simple.   Add rules later once you get into the way of things.

How you interprate the rules is entirely up to individuals and moods.   Some go for a complete strict approach with absolutely no allowances, others go for a more relaxed approach.   We tend to stick to the relaxed approach most of the time.

Punishment time is also something that couples do differently.  Some like a weekly assessment and perform punishments at this time, whilst others like to act immediately or at the first convenient time – “Wait ’till I get you home”.    Having the best of both works too.   An immediate punishment as soon as the offence is committed, with a weekly to cover all the others.   There is also the option of having a punishment BEFORE any offence might be committed to encourage good behaviour.   Imagine you are both going out to a dinner party and you don’t want your partner getting too drunk again as they did last time… You get the idea.

Punishments don’t need to be limited to spanking bums.

Above all, don’t let anyone tell you that you’re doing it wrong.   Your Domestic Discipline arrangment is yours to do what you want to do, however if you want advice, then ask.

And lastly, enjoy your new Domestic Discipline lifestyle.   It can be rewarding, even humbling after a punishment when you both get together hug, kiss and make up.   It takes a lot of stresses and tensions out of the relationship.     You may also find that you say sorry a bit more too.



Getting Started in Domestic Discipline Part 2

This is part 2 of a multi-part blog.  Part 1 is here where I described the initial parts of getting your goals/rules agreed and adopted by both in the relationship.   I cannot say it enough.  Discuss and communicate as much as possible.  Ensure that your joint goals are agreed by you both and are actually achievable.   In this post I’m going to introduce who’s going to supervise and implement the rules and what happens when they are not followed.


Unless you have a completely equal relationship then one of you is going to naturaly become the more dominate and therefore the person in charge.  In DD parlance they are known as the Head of the Household or HOH.   HOH assumes charge of the rules and measures the compliance to them and ultimately decides what happens when they are not followed.

HOH should schedule a regular review of performance and there are many ways of doing this including the good old fashioned punishment book to high tech computer / smartphone based solutions.   If you have a relationship that is not one sided then it is more a mutual arrangement with both looking closely at each other.

Be honest with each other.  If you have underperformed then accept that, arguing that you couldn’t be bothered or were too busy doing other things should not be acceptable.  If you weren’t going to manage to get something done then surely you knew BEFORE hand and not a week later?

HOH will quickly reach a verdict and announce that a punishment is due.

Of course, reviews do not need to be weekly and can be an ongoing thing.   If something is going wrong and rules are being broken, then why wait for more?   Act immediately and, if necessary, follow up with some more at the periodic review.


When rules are broken, then discipline is required.   Usually HOH shall administer, but if your on an even footing then both can administer to each other.

You may find this harder to do this initially than you thought.   Assuming a nice HOH in charge and a naughty partner who has not quite achieved the performance standard and both are in a loving relationship.    How easy is it to raise your fists and physically hurt the other?   Difficult isn’t it – you just wouldn’t do it.  Therefore, by the same argument, using a spanking implement to cause someone who you care about hurt will be difficult too.   Allowing it and accepting it will be difficult too.

We have taken the approach of agreeing to mutually acceptable punishments up front at the time we agreed to rules.   I have suggested to my HOH a number of punishments that I would not like to get, but prepared to accept should my performance merit it.  Some are for the lesser rule breaches, and others for more serious matters.    Whatever happens, we have a mutual understanding and agreement about what is going to happen.

We do not use any safe words, the standards have been set and we can review them whenever we want, but once punishment time comes it is up to HOH to administer the punishments as HOH sees fit.   HOH uses her judgement to assess if too little or too much, but either way there is no decision or too much emotions to get in the way.

A punishment should definately be something not to be looked forward too, too light and its really not worth the bother.  It should definately be something that the recipient does not want repeated too soon.    I have made the assumption that most people who read this are going to be into some form of S&M and more particularly spanking.   We are too, but not all punishments need to be in this way, there are other ways of punishment including restricting or depriving of treats.   Some HOH also sustain the physical punishment with some quiet time alone in the bedroom or standing in the corner before or after to allow them to reflect.

There should also be a formal element, no joking, HOH should take control and direct you into position.  We have a standard position that I have to adopt.  It gives HOH a good chance of striking the target area with little effort and makes for most pain.

After the punishment make sure that you both hug and show each other that you both care.   Both are forgiven, and there are no bad feelings and you can now move forward without any bad feelings or moods.

Initially it may seem like fun but ask yourselve if  you can handle a spanking that is going to hurt, possibly even lead to cries to stop or tears.   If it’s a boudoir spanking from a semi-naked maiden to spice up life in the bedroom then possibly DD is not for you.   You have both agreed to rules and punishments so whatever happens may be a shock to the system first time especially if you really only wanted a bit of kink.   Are you up to be spanked when HOH decides when possibly you’re not in the mood?  Future HOH – don’t let this be an excuse, effective punishments lead to less rule violations and ultimately your goals will be realised.    Now that’s what you want to do this for isn’t it?

We have several specialist implements that are used for punishments.   We have elevated one of them to almost superstar status and named it as HOH Strap.   This is HOH’s favourite, it is easy to use, nasty to receive and synonomous with DD.   I would suggest you get something similiar, even putting it on a hook in the bedroom showing that it is there to be used.

So what happens when there’s been no punishments for a while?   Maintenance Spankings shortened to Maintenance is the answer.


Over time the pain of punishment will subside and behaviours will revert.   It is for this reason that HOH is encouraged to regularly administer a maintenance spanking.   This give HOH the chance to keep their hand in and to emphasis that DD is still around and misbehaviour WILL result in something a lot worse.

We try and do maintenance every Wednesday morning and if its missed then it just happens at the next most opportune time.   I even have to remind HOH if she has forgotten.     Six strokes from her HOH Strap is the regular dose.   Its a very sharp reminder about what that strap is capable of.   I can usually look over my shoulder and see the determination in HOH’s face as she cracks it down.   I know HOH (and the Strap) have a lot left in reserve and that is effective maintenance – a gentle reminder of who is in charge and the consequences.


We established in part 1 that to get started in DD you need agreed goals and rules.  In this part we have discussed that there should be somebody (HOH) in charge to make sure these rules are followed.    Punishments will be administered by HOH on these rule violations and even these have been agreed beforehand.

For us, the key to a sucessfull DD relationship is discussion and agreement.  Everything else just falls into place.

Getting Started In Domestic Discipline

This post was inspired by a reader – you know who you are – for newcomers looking to get started in DD.

Its going to be a long post and I’m going to break it up into two or more parts and then dedicate a page to it when its all completed.   Please feel free to comment and if I haven’t got it completed by Wednesday then complain to Lady C and demand action 😉

Right and Wrong

The first and most important point is that there is no right or wrong way of doing things – it is unique to yourselves and what you want to do and achieve.   You may have seen the letters TTWD on other sites – it stands for This Thing We Do with the emphasis on WE.

Another important thing is that it is not all about having a bit of spanking fun, it is serious lifestyle choice and needs to be discussed freely with your partner at length.  There are many pitfalls, but overall the scheme of this should be to agree some rules and at some point if they are broken or performance is not upto scratch then you get punished.  Easy huh?

Getting Started

Find a quiet place where you and your partner won’t be disturbed for a few hours.  Don’t have distractions like televisions, phones, tablets etc and prepare to set aside a few hours whilst you put together the framework of your DD lifestyle.   During this discussion you want to open and frank with each other and at the end of it know why you want to live the DD life and what you expect to get out of it.

Also discuss punishments.   You are both going to agree that when you break your own rules it will be a punishment.  Can you cope with the fact that you will need to physically hurt somebody that you care for?  Can you also cope with being punished?   The important thing is talk about it, get agreement.   If either of you don’t totally agree with the concepts or don’t fancy any part of it then don’t include it.   You need to both agree otherwise at some point in the future it will not happen and that will be the start of the end of DD.

Goals and Rules

These can probably be considered as the same thing, however  we have them split into goals and rules.  This is a personal twist that we have and didn’t originally have it in the DD arrangement.


These are long term things that we want to achieve and are a useful set of categories that we can go back at look at the big picture without getting involved with the detail.

We have the following goals:

  • Be healthy
  • Be organised
  • Domestic bliss
  • Look good
  • Our house
  • Save our sanity
  • Financial

They are a bit vague, but make sense to us.  We want to be healthy, and that includes drinking less, more excercise, eating healthier foods etc.     We also want our lives to be organised – that means making arrangements for our offsprings, parents and generally keeping on top of things.  Domestic bliss is where the chores are split and we (OK especially me) don’t annoy each other.   Look good means that I keep clean shaven, wear neat business like clothes, regularly trim my nails, haircuts etc.  Our house is just a placeholder to remind us about home improvements we want to make.  Save our sanity is our reminder that even although we have work and home commitments then we still need to take the time to enjoy ourselves by having going out for dinner, going to the pub, meeting up with friends etc.   Financial is all those things that we need to keep on top of like balancing accounts, looking at bills, and other boring stuff.

From some of these some rules neatly fall out, others are as I have mentioned reminders about what and where we wanna go with our lives.


We have quite a few of these now.   Again the important things are communication and agreement.  Not so obvious is the fact that they need to be achievable and measureable.   Don’t create a rule that is going to be impossible to meet, drop the bar a bit and have something that will help you meet your goal.   Also try and be precise about how the goal or rule will be met and that can be time based, event based or both.   For example my reader mentioned weight loss, the rule could be lose 1 kg in a week, or for an excercise type rule, cycle at least twice in the week and achieve 10 km.

Note to self: I don’t even know if these rules are realistic – maybe I should type less and research more.

With rules allow yourselves get out clauses for occasions where it is acceptable to you both for the rules to be temporarily relaxed.  Think about holidays, illness, special occasions.  Example – you may need to work away at a hotel that has no fitness club, how can you acheive the excercise bike.

At the end you will have a set of rules (or goals) that you and your partner have agreed on.   To change them is going to take the same effort and again you both need to arrange a time where you do this – and get agreement on.

We also have rules about challenging HOH or the rules and HOH’s interpration of them.   I shall talk more of HOH and that role later.

Part 1 Summary

At this point you have, both with equal standing in your relationship, generated goals, rules and a way forward for the future.   You have both participated in your rules and goals and are both going to try and abide by them.    In the next part I will discuss who is going to supervise the rules and make sure they are implemented, and most importantly what happens when the rules are broken.