The Cruel Mistress


We have a new device.  The Master Series Cock Shock is an electro-sex device is designed to fit around the base of the cock, whilst the remote control goes in the hand of the dominant.

The remote has four buttons and two switches.   The switches are on/off and high/low volume.   The most harmless button is for an inbuilt LED in the remote, it seems that every toy has to have a LED in them these days and I can’t see much use for it except to perhaps try and get the person wearing the shocker’s attention.

The next button just makes causes a buzzer to sound, volume dependent on the volume switch.   Button three causes a vibration as long as its held down – nice.

The fourth button is cruel and when pressed this releases a really nasty shock leaving the wearer not wanting more.

Cockshock remote and shocker

So far Mistress hasn’t really used it for anything more than a quick press.  Let me state categorically that this is not one of these lame TENS devices, this is a real shock.

When you’re not expecting it, even the vibrate function causes you to jump, but still nothing close to the shock when it is delivered.

One thing I’ve noticed when I’ve got this on is the instant transformation of my behaviour, no back chatting, proper replies, making sure that Mistress is addressed properly and doing things promptly as soon as the command is given.

On the down side the shocker times out after 3 minutes to save the batteries, however motion will wake it up again ready for action.  There’s two LEDs on the shocker – a red and a green – which show when its awake.  Not much use when there’s clothes on top of it.

We’ve done some research and found that a 45 degree turn in a particular direction is enough and Mistress has also discovered that punching, or grabbing that particular area does the same.   Continuing to send vibrations or shocks also keeps it alive.  We’ve not tried with the buzzer or the torch, and it may turn out that this works too.

The instructions aren’t really helpful – OK they tell you how to put the battery and how to pair the remote with the shocker and then “fit it to your slave…”   I’ve discovered the hard way that with the shocker sitting underneath the shocks are not as bad as when its on top.  Probably something to do with the extra layers of skin, muscle and whatever else is down there.   When the shocker was mounted upwards the whole shock sensation was so much stronger and it felt like it travelled all the way to the tip.   I reckon that this would be able to destroy any erection used in this way.    So far its always been a “hands off”, but I’m sure Mistress would be able to pick up the remote and the shocker and just hold it against me and get the same effect, just a lot quicker.

For longer term or permenent use this is far from ideal.  The velcro is uncomfortable and is easily removed by the wearer.  A better solution would be a lockable ring and obviously not have the auto-switch off function.  Even better if the motion of the wearer could be harnessed to charge the batteries.   I am aware of the “Dream Lover 2000” but its very expension in comparison.

We’ve named this the “Cruel Mistress” as its active and cruel as opposed to the Watchful Mistress chastity device which is completely passive.   Its ideal for any Mistress who wishes some obedience training and I cannot imagine any man wearning one of these would ever press that button more than once.

The Cruel Mistress is now one of Lady C’s favourites and now threatens me with a shocking experience or zapping when I’m misbehaving.

More Things I Like


A few weeks ago I talked about things I like to hear during a spanking. This post is about the non speech things.

Having Mistress remove the last layer of clothing is good. Feeling hands slipped into each side of your waistband and pull down says she means business.

Being tapped on the bum or hips by the cane to adjust the position is always necessary.

Seeing an implement selected and out ready for use gets the heart beating.

Pointing at the bed, chair or wherever the spanking is to take place.

Sometimes seeing Mistress clothed normally for a punishment. For fun, a pair of stiletto heels is a must.

Mistress must give the air of authority and give the impression that the spanking is effortless to her and there’s plenty in reserve. There must be an air of simplistic elegance and totally relaxation.

Playing with the implement. Canes and crops should be flexed and given trial swishes. Tawses and straps should be held in both ends and flexed or held around Mistresses own ass, or around the neck. Paddles can be slapped against the other hand and tapped against any hard surface.

The hand on the small of the back that says you ain’t getting up yet.

I’m sure there’s more, but that all I can think of at this point. Do you have any?

A

The Disciplinarian


Disciplinarian : a person who is very strict about punishing bad behavior : a person who uses discipline as a way of making sure that rules or orders are obeyed.

I want Lady C to be my own personal Disciplinarian.  I need this, I want this.   I want her to help me achieve my goals through a set of goals and rules – my rules, my goals.   When I struggle to meet my goals or even to get started on them that when Lady C has to be the Disciplinarian.

Of course, just having my rules would be selfish.  Lady C needs rules too and I’m quite happy to have her enforce them too.  That’s the basis of consensual Domestic Discipline.

I’ve not decided as this point what my goal and rules are going to be, but as usual they need to be achievable and be measurable.  I see the rules as being very changeable and dynamic.  There’s lots of examples – I need to make a plan today, I don’t want to drink any more than 3 pints of beer on a particular night or I want the kitchen kept to a level of tidyness.

I’m also going to suggest some punishments and encouragements, because after all their my rules.  However, if Lady C wants to use her own or enhance mine, then I have no problem with that.

This is nothing new to us, just a refresh as to our commitment to DD and each other.

Time to go and figure out what I want to achieve with my life this week…

A

Displeasure


HOH was having a bit of a rant today.   Seemingly she’s the only one that tidies up around here.   Wether she does or not is not up for discussion here.   “Are you displeased, My Darling (HOH)?”

“Yes, I am”, and started off again.   Anyway, I suggested that she meets with a suitable bottom warming implement in one of our outbuildings or cause some discomfort to my balls.

She decided on the latter specifically choosing to have my balls squished in a contraption made of two pieces of perspex with screws and wingnuts.   I don’t know the correct name for this thing, but it can be screwed very tight.

It wasn’t too tight this time and C didn’t even notice that I wasn’t squirming too much.    She did decide after 40 minutes or so that there would be an additional forfeit to help me remember to help her around the house.  This would take the form of the Dicktator.   After a bit of a struggle she managed, with a lot of help from me, to get it on and locked.

I’m thinking this was possibly the lightest punishment she could have issued.   A couple of swift slaps, light punches or kicks are far harder to take and getting back into position for the next blow is always difficult.   A strapping in one of our outbuildings would have been particularly punishing as the temperature has been down around freezing for the last couple of days and baring my bum for C to strap would be particularly sore helping C get her point over.  Think the thing that got me off the hook there was that it was cold out and we were nice and cozy in the house.

What would I rather have had?

The ball squishing in any form is not particuarly painful to endure and C is somewhat reluctant to put too much pressure on the family jewels.   That and Dicktation always seem to be a bit more of kinky sex than punishment.

A strapping, either on bum or hands, always feels more like a proper punishment. There’s ritual and just having a punishment implement out adds to the occasion.  Then there’s the strokes, that uncertainty before the first one lands and then the heat and sting.

After it, you feel punished and that justice has been served.  And that, for me, is the closure of the issue or absolution.    I don’t like when C is upset or hurt and I always feel that I deserve a harsher punishment than she gives.   Of course at the moment of impact I may change my mind.

A

The Loopy Johnny Experience


After a week with no work and lots of play it was punishment time.   It also coincided with HOH being treated as Goddess for a day.  Actually that lasted more than the day.

As part of the Goddess treats she allowed me to choose the implement and method of its use.   Loopy Johnny used vigourously was my choice.   Not because I particularly  like it, but because I thought HOH would like its effect.

When the time came , HOH commanded on my hands and feet on the floor and stood astride me and as instructed proceeded to whip down my arse cheeks vigourously.   A minute was HOH’s prescribed dose and it took nowhere near that to get my attention.

The Loopy Johnny is an evil invention and whilst it looks pretty harmless, its basically just a short whip.  Normally HOH takes her time with it to get a harder, more accurate stroke.   This means I get off with anything between 6 and 12 strokes, individually each stroke is not too hard to take but they tend to cause more welts than most of the other implements we have.   I’ve never experienced a lot more strokes, but I do know it would start becoming pretty nasty.

With HOH whipping away vigourously, each stroke was relatively lighter but there were a LOT more.  And the cumulative effect was for me to start wriggling to try and avoid them.  It seemed that most were landing on the right hand bum cheek and I was trying to twist so that some would land on my other cheek.   I don’t know if C was deliberately trying to punish only one side.  She has done in the past, but has always evened things up by punishing the other for a bit too.

Overall, not the worst punishment I’ve ever received, but C certainly enjoyed seeing me wriggling knowing that her efforts were having the desired effect.

That was a week ago and this week hasn’t really been much better than last so I might need to bare my ass for HOH again very soon.

A

Getting Started In Domestic Discipline Part 3


The first two parts have been consolidated here and are probably most of what any beginners to DD need to know.   In this part I’m going to finish up by discussing Boot Camps and some other bits and pieces that don’t really fit in anywhere else.

Boot Camps

We don’t do these correctly, however who’s to say any other way is wrong either.   The purpose of Boot Camps is to have, usually, a weekend set aside when you do nothing except talk, act and sleep Domestic Discipline.   It is an opportunity to establish the HOH and take each other out of their own comfort zones.   By this I mean you will get a punishment that is very hard by your own standards or in the case of HOH have to administer it.    Trust me its harder than it sounds from both sides.

When we do boot camps we tend to have a week when maintenance is performed daily and every task or rule is taken to extremes and punishments dished out accordingly.   For us the idea is to get us back into the way of the DD routine and making sure things gets done.

However you choose to do it is entirely up to you, but do take the time to plan it out in advance and if spending an entire weekend, make sure that you don’t need to stop to go out and goto the shops or have any other things that get in the way.  For us, our weekends are precious to us and we don’t want to give them up by staying in the house all weekend.

Other Hints and Tips

Whatever you make your DD arrangement is entirely up to yourselves.   I’ve given some ideas from what we do and have found to work for us.  Its up to you to find what works for you.

Getting the rules recorded is definately something that needs to be done.  Having a strong HOH who interprates them is also important.

Don’t make up rules on the fly, think about them before hand and agree to them and try and stick to them.

Allow yourselves days off – days when you both agree you’re not going to engage in DD.

Allow flexibility in the rules and review them to ensure that they’re actually what you want to do.

Take punishment time seriously.   It is meant to deter future bad behaviour and should do so.   For the punisher, you have more than your partners consent to punish – your partner WANTS or NEEDS you to punish to acheive goals.   Don’t let them down.   For the punishee – as just mentioned you want your partner to punish you so help you acheive your goals.   Don’t be suprised when you get a call for a punishment – it is for the greater good.

Don’t let not being in a mood for a spanking get in the way.  This is not for sexual relief.

Remember this is within a loving relationship to achieve goals, don’t let it become abuse.

Initially, start with a few rules and keep them simple.   Add rules later once you get into the way of things.

How you interprate the rules is entirely up to individuals and moods.   Some go for a complete strict approach with absolutely no allowances, others go for a more relaxed approach.   We tend to stick to the relaxed approach most of the time.

Punishment time is also something that couples do differently.  Some like a weekly assessment and perform punishments at this time, whilst others like to act immediately or at the first convenient time – “Wait ’till I get you home”.    Having the best of both works too.   An immediate punishment as soon as the offence is committed, with a weekly to cover all the others.   There is also the option of having a punishment BEFORE any offence might be committed to encourage good behaviour.   Imagine you are both going out to a dinner party and you don’t want your partner getting too drunk again as they did last time… You get the idea.

Punishments don’t need to be limited to spanking bums.

Above all, don’t let anyone tell you that you’re doing it wrong.   Your Domestic Discipline arrangment is yours to do what you want to do, however if you want advice, then ask.

And lastly, enjoy your new Domestic Discipline lifestyle.   It can be rewarding, even humbling after a punishment when you both get together hug, kiss and make up.   It takes a lot of stresses and tensions out of the relationship.     You may also find that you say sorry a bit more too.

Enjoy,

A

Getting Started in Domestic Discipline Part 2


This is part 2 of a multi-part blog.  Part 1 is here where I described the initial parts of getting your goals/rules agreed and adopted by both in the relationship.   I cannot say it enough.  Discuss and communicate as much as possible.  Ensure that your joint goals are agreed by you both and are actually achievable.   In this post I’m going to introduce who’s going to supervise and implement the rules and what happens when they are not followed.

HOH

Unless you have a completely equal relationship then one of you is going to naturaly become the more dominate and therefore the person in charge.  In DD parlance they are known as the Head of the Household or HOH.   HOH assumes charge of the rules and measures the compliance to them and ultimately decides what happens when they are not followed.

HOH should schedule a regular review of performance and there are many ways of doing this including the good old fashioned punishment book to high tech computer / smartphone based solutions.   If you have a relationship that is not one sided then it is more a mutual arrangement with both looking closely at each other.

Be honest with each other.  If you have underperformed then accept that, arguing that you couldn’t be bothered or were too busy doing other things should not be acceptable.  If you weren’t going to manage to get something done then surely you knew BEFORE hand and not a week later?

HOH will quickly reach a verdict and announce that a punishment is due.

Of course, reviews do not need to be weekly and can be an ongoing thing.   If something is going wrong and rules are being broken, then why wait for more?   Act immediately and, if necessary, follow up with some more at the periodic review.

Discipline

When rules are broken, then discipline is required.   Usually HOH shall administer, but if your on an even footing then both can administer to each other.

You may find this harder to do this initially than you thought.   Assuming a nice HOH in charge and a naughty partner who has not quite achieved the performance standard and both are in a loving relationship.    How easy is it to raise your fists and physically hurt the other?   Difficult isn’t it – you just wouldn’t do it.  Therefore, by the same argument, using a spanking implement to cause someone who you care about hurt will be difficult too.   Allowing it and accepting it will be difficult too.

We have taken the approach of agreeing to mutually acceptable punishments up front at the time we agreed to rules.   I have suggested to my HOH a number of punishments that I would not like to get, but prepared to accept should my performance merit it.  Some are for the lesser rule breaches, and others for more serious matters.    Whatever happens, we have a mutual understanding and agreement about what is going to happen.

We do not use any safe words, the standards have been set and we can review them whenever we want, but once punishment time comes it is up to HOH to administer the punishments as HOH sees fit.   HOH uses her judgement to assess if too little or too much, but either way there is no decision or too much emotions to get in the way.

A punishment should definately be something not to be looked forward too, too light and its really not worth the bother.  It should definately be something that the recipient does not want repeated too soon.    I have made the assumption that most people who read this are going to be into some form of S&M and more particularly spanking.   We are too, but not all punishments need to be in this way, there are other ways of punishment including restricting or depriving of treats.   Some HOH also sustain the physical punishment with some quiet time alone in the bedroom or standing in the corner before or after to allow them to reflect.

There should also be a formal element, no joking, HOH should take control and direct you into position.  We have a standard position that I have to adopt.  It gives HOH a good chance of striking the target area with little effort and makes for most pain.

After the punishment make sure that you both hug and show each other that you both care.   Both are forgiven, and there are no bad feelings and you can now move forward without any bad feelings or moods.

Initially it may seem like fun but ask yourselve if  you can handle a spanking that is going to hurt, possibly even lead to cries to stop or tears.   If it’s a boudoir spanking from a semi-naked maiden to spice up life in the bedroom then possibly DD is not for you.   You have both agreed to rules and punishments so whatever happens may be a shock to the system first time especially if you really only wanted a bit of kink.   Are you up to be spanked when HOH decides when possibly you’re not in the mood?  Future HOH – don’t let this be an excuse, effective punishments lead to less rule violations and ultimately your goals will be realised.    Now that’s what you want to do this for isn’t it?

We have several specialist implements that are used for punishments.   We have elevated one of them to almost superstar status and named it as HOH Strap.   This is HOH’s favourite, it is easy to use, nasty to receive and synonomous with DD.   I would suggest you get something similiar, even putting it on a hook in the bedroom showing that it is there to be used.

So what happens when there’s been no punishments for a while?   Maintenance Spankings shortened to Maintenance is the answer.

Maintenance

Over time the pain of punishment will subside and behaviours will revert.   It is for this reason that HOH is encouraged to regularly administer a maintenance spanking.   This give HOH the chance to keep their hand in and to emphasis that DD is still around and misbehaviour WILL result in something a lot worse.

We try and do maintenance every Wednesday morning and if its missed then it just happens at the next most opportune time.   I even have to remind HOH if she has forgotten.     Six strokes from her HOH Strap is the regular dose.   Its a very sharp reminder about what that strap is capable of.   I can usually look over my shoulder and see the determination in HOH’s face as she cracks it down.   I know HOH (and the Strap) have a lot left in reserve and that is effective maintenance – a gentle reminder of who is in charge and the consequences.

Summary

We established in part 1 that to get started in DD you need agreed goals and rules.  In this part we have discussed that there should be somebody (HOH) in charge to make sure these rules are followed.    Punishments will be administered by HOH on these rule violations and even these have been agreed beforehand.

For us, the key to a sucessfull DD relationship is discussion and agreement.  Everything else just falls into place.

Maintenance Mayhem


Our maintenance backlog mentioned here has been steadily reducing.   HOH thought we should manage two maintenance sessions a day until its all gets up to date.   She also thought it would be good fun to have me do it to myself as she continues to suffer with a sore arm.

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Punishment Time


Just over a week ago I mentioned here that I had refused maintenance and upset HOH. Continue reading

A Spanking For HOH


I really fancy giving HOH a spanking.  A nice over the knee bottom warming spanking.   I’ve been thinking about it since last night when she was being delightfully dominating.

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