An update on the Boot Camp Days that we’ve trying out. We started the first review on the 4th February remotely using Skype to communicate. The first review was a meant to be a bit of a dry run, however C took to the idea so much that she said that any missed goals or tasks would be counted and punishment would be administered as soon as it was possible.That was probably a good call and got us into the routine of having a chat every night and systematically going through each item. By the time I got home I had about 4 or 5 punishments waiting for me. It was a bit off having them stack up and it meant that bad behaviour was not associated immediately with punishment. C has now managed to “catch up” with these outstanding punishments, with the exception of one she deliberately scheduled for Valentine’s Day. Some of these were quite harsh, others were by comparison quite easy to take.
So are we in a better place since we started? Yes I think we are and having maintenance first thing in the morning definately makes you think about the tasks for the remainder of the day. This morning I could tell C was a bit tired from last nights excesses and I was quietly lying in bed hoping that I would manage to sneak up for a shower and get myself out to work before she could practice her art. Not so, C got up got me into position for some maintenance and punishment.
When we were thinking about our DD lifestyle and how we could make it better, one of the things C asked me was to help her become the HOH that she needs to be. It sounds crazy but I need to help HOH so that she can help me which helps both of us. In short, its just long way to describe teamwork. In order to help her I’m going to take at her word and as stated here. I think HOH should make this into some kind of HOH charter and even make it into a page.
One thing I think that C is weak on is in the way that she initiates the maintenance or punishment time. I think she needs to be more assertive and leave absolutely no doubt as to what she wants to do. For example “c’mon now” can mean anything and I think that there should be clear instructions or a phrase. Some ones I have thought of are “bare your bottom and stand in the corner with your hands on your head whilst I look out some straps”, “you have 30 seconds to get into the punishment position”. The latter would require that we have a clear definition of what the punishment position is.
I was planning on having a post punishment debrief to give feedback on my perception about how effective a particular punishment has been. Doing it every time will be very time consuming, so possibly highlighting ones that I felt were not harsh enough. That is something that C and I will need to have a look at.
So far C has been catching up with the maintenance backlog and tomorrow’s (assuming that she doesn’t forget) is in lieu of 26 December. The major difference tomorrow is that it will be the first day that we do this on a “normal” morning. By normal I mean that we will both be working and that means that
we C will need to be on our her game to make sure that there is time for this early morning maintenance session.
For me it means that I have a far better chance of completing some of the tasks on the task list – have breakfast, go on exercise bike, look smart in my appearance. We’ll see tomorow night how it goes. The caveat is that if C fails to review or perform the maintenance then her bum will become the focus of punishment for a change!
Overall I’m feeling good with the committment that we are putting into this lifestyle change and our “Boot Camp Days”. So far the punishments have generally been on the light side and have not caused me too much trouble. Its only a matter of time before C spots that there are a number of tasks that are continually being missed and ramps it up in the harshness stakes. I have been leaving her one or two HOH tasks and she has been carrying them out.
One thing I’m interested in seeing is her comments on maintenance – I gave her a set of 6 maintenance scenarios with different positions and implements. Each was written on a different piece of paper with room for HOH notes and was populated with some of my notes. Once again I may have facilitated her with more ways for her to be cruel to my ass. These probably should be the subject of a post all on their own.
Its an exciting time for us right now and planning things together can be good fun and keeps us close. However, I see C is poised with her spreadsheet and ready for review so I’d better sign off and start looking for excuses. Thanks to everyone who’s asked for a copy of our spreadsheet, I really hope you get some value from it and can use it in your own DD relationship.